It’s been happening since the beginning of time. Mothers who have spent the last twelve years dragging themselves out of bed at all hours of the night for feedings, temperature taking, and hand holding, suddenly find themselves the parents of a strange species, also known as teenagers.
Adolescence is a time for personal growth, independence, and learning responsibility. It is also a time to drive your parents nutso. With all that said, here are the top ten reasons why having teenagers actually helps mothers look forward to Empty Nest Syndrome:
- They hang on the refrigerator door, rub their stomachs, stare blankly inside, and mutter, “There’s never anything to eat around here” (and this is only after you’ve just been forced to take out a second mortgage to pay the grocery store bill and served a six-course gourmet meal).
- They suddenly forget how to bend over to pick anything up off the floor—unless it is food or money.
- They sigh, make the same disgusted face, and roll their eyes so often that you start to worry that their face really will freeze that way.
- They sleep so much that you actually consider adding “Rip Van Winkle” to your family tree.
- They refuse all communication from you unless it is a text or smoke signal from a campfire several miles away.
- They think a healthy snack consists of chips, Monster, and a Mr. Goodbar.
- They refuse to acknowledge ever being a part of your genealogy.
- Everything they want for Christmas starts with an “i” and costs at least $300.00.
- They see nothing wrong with wearing the same T-shirt six days in a row.
- When grandma is over for dinner, they decide to loudly inform everyone at the table that tattoos are hip, nose piercings are cool, and college is stupid.
As the mother of two teenagers, I would like to publicly confess that I have no idea what I am doing 364 out of 365 days when it comes to parenting adolescents. Since there isn’t a book published yet titled What to Expect When Your Children Turn into Another Species, I have no other choice but to blindly follow my heart, my gut, and sometimes even the unsolicited advice of the woman standing behind me in the grocery store line.
I have to admit, it’s going fabulously so far. Last night, my son let me move the campfire a mile closer to our house before sending out smoke signals to let him know dinner was ready. I was so happy I didn’t even notice he was wearing the same T-shirt he’s worn everyday since November 16, 2009.
By Vicky DeCoster (All Rights Reserved)